How Reality TV Ended my Writer's Block

For weeks, I’ve had an intense case of writer’s block. I would sit down at my computer, attempting to write, and NOTHING would appear on the page. I felt my plot had stalled. The characters I created were just floating on the page. I started to cry. I felt like the goals I had were leaving me slowly. I wanted to be DONE with the first draft on my birthday. And here it was, almost March, and I hadn’t moved past the plot points that I had way back in December. I felt like an utter failure.

I decided to take a break and escape with a lot of Hallmark, a few romance movies and shows, and finally, I delved back into Reality TV. More specifically, I started to binge Netflix’s Love is Blind. And it was the best thing for me as a writer.

If you haven’t been living under a rock, Love is Blind is a Reality Dating show from Netflix where couples fall in love and get engaged, sight unseen, to see if real love can be had with true, emotional connections. They talked for hours in these isolated custom-built pods that were located on the Pinewood Studios Lot here in Atlanta. Some couples were doomed from the start(i.e. Carlton and Diamond) and some couples tried (i.e. Kenny and Kelly). And some absolutely were the fairy tale that all girls want. Meet: Cameron and Lauren. Cameron, a data scientist who was warm, shy and emotionally available from Maine. And Lauren, the gorgeous, chocolate “Princess Tiana in Real Life” content creator from Detroit. They met, they talked. and it was love.

Now granted, the two are attractive. He is white and she is black. And I most certainly don’t love them in an “I fetishize mixed couples” kind of way. Lauren was scared because Cameron was white. And I will say, in SPITE OF him being white, she fell hard for him. Cameron couldn’t keep his hands off Lauren. And I don’t mean in a nasty way. I mean, it was obvious to me his love language was physical touch. When she talked, he rested a hand over hers, Or on her arm. Or her thigh. He looked deeply into her eyes and hung on her every word. And when she finally set her eyes on Cameron, when he proposed, Lauren’s heart skipped a beat and she said “You look like a prince”.

I melted. I was on my couch in a puddle of wet, soggy tears. Every girl wants to feel that. ESPECIALLY every black girl who looks like Lauren: unapologetically and undeniably black. I watched every episode up until the wedding with bated breath, hoping that my faves didn’t let me down. And they didn’t. They got married. And given that the show was almost a year and a half ago, they are still going strong.

If I’m honest with myself, the reason I love stuff like Love is Blind and such... is because I’m a 40-year-old woman who still loves a good fairy tale. I grew up in a home with parents who had a rocky relationship. There was abuse. There was infidelity. And aside from the Cosby Show and a few distant relatives, I had no idea what a healthy relationship was. So, I was drawn to the fairy tales. Not for the “rescue me” aspect. But for what seemed to be men who absolutely adored women. It took two marriages for me to get that.

When Lauren said Cameron looked Iike a prince, I felt that deep in my shondo! His smile was so wide, warm and inviting. He literally looked like a character that I could write in my books. I do not really write interracial romance (I have no experience or POV for it) but this is what I could pinpoint as a healthy, non-fetishist type of relationship. Lauren was open with her reservations. Cam liked her for her, and maybe because she WAS black. He didn’t have to be “taught” how to deal with black women (he had previously been in a relationship with a black girl). He eased her fears. And a lot of the audiences to be honest.

People have criticized the show for its lack of diversity in body types, sexual orientations and abilities. I can agree with that. And they are all fair assessments. But still….Call me a sucker. Call me naive. But i love the possibilities of love.

And as soon as the show ended and the reunion aired, I was able to sit at my computer and write again.

And I have Netflix to thank for that.