April 1 was my New Year

So I turned 40 on March 28… during that time… I began to cultivate a new me.

I cut my locs

I colored my hair.

I got a grill of gold teeth

I got a tattoo.

I updated my very drab wardrobe.

I started a diet while trying to practice healthy body acceptance. (A struggle I’ve had since I was a child, honestly).

I decided after years in higher education, I need a new job. ASAP

Most of all, I began to write again. Just like this tattoo that is shedding its layer, I had to shed the layer of rejection that I had felt in the previous months. Writing just had not been going well. I was letting it get to me but the fire of turning 40 has fueled me to give this thing a deeper, committed try. I’ve gotten more involved in a community of writers. Most of all, although sci-fi/spec is my absolute first love, I’ve decided to give a couple of other genres a try.

I’m working on a unconventional romance. I am also working on a murder mystery (that has time travel). These are genres that i love but I haven’t necessarily delved into. I wasn’t sure that was my speed or not. But it does not hurt to try.

I’ve had way more rejections since April 1. I expected it. I kind of want to give up. I well respected journal told me that the pacing of my stories were “too slow” and that my protagonist didn’t experience “enough tension”. I appreciated the feedback and overall, they enjoyed the story. It just lacked “something:. I am trying to figure out what I am lacking.

When I decided that I didn’t want to pursue my PhD, I figured that the creative writing path would come easy. I mean, I’ve always been praised for my writing yet I didn’t expect overnight success. I am no genius. I am a hard working and I try to work at my craft every day (ok.. maybe not every day. I do have a life). I just had hoped that I would have more positive results with journals. That road has not been easy.

I am trying to explore other options in getting my work out there. I am very resistant to publishing pieces on this website due to copyright and people just plain on “copy/paste” stealing, which happens more often than writers would like.

So we press on. We keep writing. We keep getting rejections. We keep getting better. We keep trying new things. We keep reinventing. We keep faithful to the craft. As my good friend Candace reminded me, “The inventor of 409 cleaner had to try 408 times before he got it right…:.

I will get it right. I have to. It’s the New Year.